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W is for ‘Win-Win’

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Today’s letter for the AtoZ Blogging Challenge is ‘W’ for my theme ‘A to Z of Effectiveness’. You can read more about my theme here. I’m also participating in the NaBloPoMo for April.

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Ooh, last week of the AtoZ Challenge!!! And we’re with W for Win-Win, one of the six paradigms of human interaction as described in Stephen Covey’s book, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’.

If you’re wondering what a paradigm is, it refers to the way we interpret the world, each one of us doing it in our own unique ways, differently in different circumstances. Like I said, the book mentions six paradigms, briefly described below in the context of an interpersonal relationship between two people:

1. Win-Win – This is a scenario where I win, and so do you. People with such a mentality prefer a mutually beneficial relationship, as they believe it will reap greater rewards.

2. Win-Lose – This refers to a competitive situation, where the loss of one person is essential for the victory of the other. A great example is a competitive exam, which requires that some students performs badly for another to get in the top ranks.

3. Lose-Win – This paradigm is common to people referred to as doormats or pushovers, who are ready to lose to let the other person win. They’re generally people pleasers who have low self worth and self esteem.

4. Lose-Lose – This is the sort of vindictive relationship where one doesn’t mind losing as long as his enemy is losing too! Typical of spouses in divorce settlements, this is a situation that occurs when two Win-Lose people get together.

5. Win – Probably the most common paradigm of all, people with a Win mentality don’t mind what happens to the other person – to each his own.

6. No Deal – This is the default option of all paradigms and nothing to do with the game show!
As is obvious, while all paradigms provide a temporary sense of fulfillment, the only lasting relationship will be the one achieved through a Win-Win paradigm, whether it’s a marriage or an organization.


It’s easy to get confused about what paradigm you usually use in your relationships at home and work, but a little digging into your past will give you an idea. Depending upon your priorities, you probably have different paradigms in different situations, but that is natural. After all, you can’t go win-win in a football match between two teams!! But overall, for true interdependence, a Win-Win option is the best; if things still don’t work out, there’s always No Deal to fall back on!

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